Every year in the last decade has been a year of growth for me. But this last year has stretched me even beyond what I thought was possible.

Here I look back on the 7 things I learned in 2019 as I prepare myself for the new decade.

1. You Can Have Your Dreams But You Have to Work for It

I have spent more than 30 years being a dreamer but not really believing I could achieve my dreams.

I did all the conventional things, thinking they were what I wanted. But I was playing it safe. I was too scared to put myself out there. Not trying seemed to be better than trying and failing. 😟

Don’t get me wrong, I understand why my life had to go the way it did, it brought me more lessons than I ever expected. Sometimes more than I even wanted. Everything had to happen for me to get to where I am and for me to be motivated to get to where I want to go.

This year showed me that I could have all that I have ever dreamed of…I just need to work for it.

And I have been working on it, and also learning to trust the process. In time, I know the hard work will pay off.

It helps to see my peers also working hard for their dreams, some already achieving, others I am sure will be getting there. Seeing these examples of dedication, passion and perseverance gives me inspiration every day.

Read about how I decided to take a leap and start a blog here!

2. People See Who You Are, Even if You Don’t

You can get so caught up with life and trying to do all that you can that you forget some of the things you have inside you.

As Guru Pitka says in the Love Guru, one important part of being yourself is intimacy or “Into-me-I-see”. 👀

It’s amazing how people can read your energy without you having to do much. For instance, I have had some clients who I have worked with this year whom I have never met in person. There were times that I felt my work for them could’ve been better or I fell short in an area. This made me feel like they would have a bad impression of me, especially since I couldn’t win them over with my awkward but endearing personality in real life. LOL. I was astonished when they would give some random feedback about my great attitude, excellent communication and how much of a pleasure it was to work with me. I was like “brrr?”

They saw the things in me I knew I had, but felt I wasn’t projecting. But how can you ever not project yourself?

It is also wonderful when the people you love and admire remind you of why they love and admire you. I am not saying you should go out seeking others’ stamp of approval, but it’s nice to get words of affirmation from time to time (yeah, it’s one of my love languages.)

It is too easy to take yourself for granted but it shouldn’t be.

Read about what made me start to believe in myself here.

3. Being Kind is Key

Life is difficult. We all know this. Every one of us has challenges and face hardships in our journey. So why make it harder on ourselves and others?

As the saying goes, kindness costs nothing but means everything.

There have been many instances in my life where kindness ABSOLUTELY made things better. Whether it was someone being kind to me or I was being kind to them.

Many of my blessings have come through kindness. Sometimes instantly, sometimes down the road. Leave your mark of kindness wherever you go.

Kindness is contagious. Kindness is powerful. It inspires hope. It helps us to keep going.

Be kind to everyone, including yourself.

Story time: Some years ago, I went to buy doubles and the guy in front of me let me order before him. What he didn’t know is that I came to buy doubles for my ENTIRE family. I will never forget his reaction when I said “20 doubles please”. I hope his kindness was repaid threefold, even if that means 60 free doubles. He at least should be getting some points every time I tell this story.

4. But Speak Up When You Need To

Being kind doesn’t mean being a pushover though.

There are always going to be those people who try to take advantage of you. You give them an inch and they want to walk a mile and a half and taylaylay.

I have always been one to avoid confrontation. In fact, I was a people-pleaser. I would sacrifice my own comfort for someone else’s.

This year, I have had to speak up for myself on many occasions.  And you know what? It felt really good to. Yes, there were a few times when my emotions would get the best of me or I would think of a good retort after the fact. But I was more assertive than I have ever been in my life.

What I have learned is that you can stand up for yourself without giving up your common decency. Just stay calm, present the facts and explain your part. Also, it ain’t hurt if you got some receipts!

5. Your Happiness Truly Comes from Within

No one can be a ball of sunshine all day e’erday. I know that more than anyone. We have our happy days and not-so-happy days (my apologies if the Happy Days theme song is playing in your head now).

But our inner happiness is something that we have full control over, even if we have good or bad days. It is something we have to choose and nurture every day.

It starts from our mindset. We have to start appreciating ourselves, including our quirks and flaws.

I have realised that I too often would look for happiness in people and things. What I needed to do is look into myself (Into-Me-I-See). I was at my true point of happiness when I was taking care of me.  

6. You Will Have Periods of Fear and Doubt but Keep Pressing On

But I will be honest, I started going down the rabbit hole of some negativity in the last quarter of this year. Started having doubts about whether I could really achieve my dreams. Started having that fear of failure, almost to the point of feeling to give up.

I asked myself what I would say to someone else if they were feeling the way I was feeling. Because unfortunately, we can be much more positive and reassuring with others than we are with ourselves.

I would say to that person that it’s okay to have doubts and be scared at times. I would tell them that they shouldn’t give up, they should trust the process, a little progress is still progress.

So even as I am sitting here and typing, I am saying this to myself. I have to keep going. I have to keep pushing for my family, for my dreams, for my happiness.

7. God is in Control No Matter What

Then finally, I was reminded that God always has my back. Seriously. Even in a time where I have a lot of work to do on our relationship, He is there.

I don’t even know why I overthink and worry so much, He has showed that He is in control no matter what.  Even in my darkest hour, He has shown me the light.

But He knows his daughter is impatient. Lol. I am working on it. But it is reassuring to know that He is in control no matter what. 🤗

I could go into a whole sermon talking about what He has done and continues to do but I’ll leave that for another post. Praise the Lord if you have made it to the end of this one! 🙌

………………..

Every day is an opportunity to learn something new. Life never stops teaching us. It’s how we apply the new knowledge that counts.

So today is the last day of the month, the year and the decade! I am taking these 7 lessons and pushing forward into the new year. I hope you all do the same with yours. 🙂

Let’s start the new decade right! Happy New Year!  ✨🎉

What have been your major lessons this year? Or even this decade?  Share in the comments!

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